we live and we die
by Four Leafed Clove
Summary: Andromeda Black met Ted Tonks one day in Potions class. One hundred years of their love. M for torture and overload angst,


**A/N: Don't own the lyrics nor do I own Harry Potter. The lyrics belong to Christina Perri.**

_Heart beats fast__  
__Colours and promises_

I listen as Professor Slughorn tells us to partner up and find myself sitting next to a Hufflepuff boy.

"You're Ted Tonks, aren't you?" I ask carefully. He gives me a quick nod but doesn't dare make eye contact. My heart sinks. Many people don't like me because of my family.

"Y-you wouldn't be a B-b-black, would you?" He asks me nervously.

"Yes, I'm Andromeda," I say, "Why?" He eyes me nervously and my hearts sinks down even lower and stays below my ankles. _Of course. _Bella's probably done something. Dammit!

"You-you're sister," He says nervously, "Called me a mudblood, and I'm pretty sure that's not nice."  
"It isn't," I agree, "Do you want me to have a word with her?"  
"I-sure, thanks. Promise?" He asks me, holding out his fist to bump. I flash him an award-winning smile and laugh.

"Promise," I agree as a whir of colours surround me.  
Sure, he's a mudblood, but Hufflepuffs are loyal, or so they say.

_How to be brave?_

"B-Bella," I say nervously. My sister, a menacing third year, barely gives me a glance.

"What, 'Meda?" She snarls. My heart beats quickly and I take a huge gulp of air before continuing.

"The other day you called somebody a Mudblood."  
"So?" She points her wand at me. Her heavily lidded eyes break into a suspicious glance and her hair swings in a ponytail, curls cascading down her back. There's a flicker of amusement on her face and she seems on the verge of laughing.

"So? That's mean, Bella," I say, and then I realise I need to run, but I don't have time before my sister whispers 'Crucio'.

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?  
But watching you stand alone_

"Ted, no!" I yell to my mudblood friend. It's our second year and Bella and her friends are hexing him. With their magic much above his level, his only way to get away from them is to jump. He looks over the edge, his eyes widening.  
"Bella, please!" I plead with my sister. She pushes me back and glares.

"Shut up, 'Meda, he deserves what he's getting, the scum," She teases, "Go on, mudblood! Jump, I dare you!"

"No! TED!" I scream. I push past Bella and she makes a snide remark towards me.  
"Don't jump, 'Meda, you know I don't want to waste any magical blood today," Bella laughs cruelly.

"His blood is just as magical as ours," I say firmly.

And then he jumps and I'm suspended in the air.

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

"Ted, please, sorry, please!" I beg, "It's not my fault!"  
"It was your sister's fault," Ted says coldly, "That's close enough,"  
"No, Ted, no, please," I plead.  
"I was no match for her. She's taking newt classes and we haven't even sat our O-W-Ls or whatever they are!" Ted yells at me.  
"Ted, please, please." I moan.

"No. She hates me, you hate me. Same same." Ted says, pushing me away.  
"Ted, no! Please! I l-I want to have you as my friend. Forever."  
"Give me one reason," He says, hurt flittering through his voice.  
"I love you."

And then, he looks at me with tears in his eyes.

"Really?"  
"Really."  
How could I ever have doubted that he'd still be friends with me?

"Wow." His eyes flash with our past; moments in class, when he was stunned and fell off the Astronomy tower and I saved him. Everything.

And then, with burning passion, he kisses me.

_One step closer_

My heart pounds; my head hurts; he has to be alive.

_Has to be._

Bella, a death eater. Ted, my boyfriend. Ted, being tortured by Bella.

_No._

"Bellatrix! Open up! Alohomora!" I burst my way in and find Bellatrix torturing Ted, Ted screaming, begging her to kill him.

_No._

"Bellatrix!" I yell. I'm only eighteen, but I don't care. Throwing myself in front of Ted, she spears a knife into my shoulder. Blood drips everywhere and then I hear the words I dread.

_Avada Kedavra. _

But words from him tell me we're together, alive or dead.

_I have died every day waiting for you_

"You're joking, Theodore Tonks," I say, "You're sick."

"No, I'm not." He says firmly, "She's dead."  
"No, no, you're sick, you're sick, you have to be," I say as tears well up in my eyes. It's sick, but he's right. He wouldn't lie to me.

"W-What about Emmy?" I ask, referring to my childhood friend.

"Tortured. Alive and tortured." He says. Then an image of Emmeline, tied bruised and bloody to the ground, my sister's now-famous knife cutting into her.

"Where is she?" I demand. He turns away and my stomach sinks.  
"Nobody knows, but she's alive."

Why am I in this world of war?

_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you_

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. Andromeda Tonks, will you marry me."  
Silence.

"Yes!"

_For a thousand years_

"So, you will marry me?"  
"Am I speaking nonsense? Of course I will!"

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

"Cissy, Cissy!" I call to my younger sister, excited to tell her the news. Narcissa comes running towards me elegantly, her blond hair tied up in a striking bun complete with a shining blue ribbon. Her pointed features melt into her tiny body which is covered in a stunning dress of purple. It reaches down to her knees and glides gracefully with every step she takes.

"Andi! Di! What's the matter?" Narcissa asks me, her voice and face ringing with concern for my wellbeing.

"I'm going to get married," I say excitedly. She eyes me suspiciously.

"Of course you are," She says firmly, "All of us are. We have to." I sigh and shake my head. _Of course. _This was going to take a while.

"No, look, can you keep a secret?" I ask. She shrugs.  
"Why?" She shoots back at me, giving me a stern look.

"Just, please – it's important. Can you?" I repeat. She nods slowly.

"Yeah," She says in that soft, elegant voice of hers.

"Well – I'm getting married tomorrow. To Ted Tonks." I say plainly. She scrunches up her nose and looks as if something unpleasant as wafted under her nose.

"Ted Tonks is a mudblood," She says plainly, "Andromeda, what are you doing? Avery is perfectly nice-"

"-And a year younger than you, Cissy. He's no Rodolphus or Lucius, is he? Anyways, I'm in love, Narcissa. I don't care who his parents were."  
"B-But, no, Andi, you're doing the wrong thing," She gasps. I shake my head.

"Go and tell then. You wouldn't understand. You're much too young." I sigh, "_Accio luggage!" _A few trunks of things come down. Narcissa looks hurt.

"Andi, please, it's a mistake, stay, please-"

"Goodbye, Cissy," I say, ignoring her, "If you want to come to my wedding it's at our park where we used to play when we were kids. Nine in the morning. Goodbye," She casts me one final desperate look as I apparate and squash into nothingness.

I've loved him forever. I loved her because she was my sister. That's over now.

_Time stands still_

_Beauty in all she is_

"I do." Ted says. My heart pounds as I remember how worried I was. Now it's actually happening.

"_You look so beautiful," cooed Mrs Tonks, adjusting my bouquet._

"_Thanks, Anita," I replied happily, spinning around in the white gown of my dreams.  
"Oh, darling, you are amazing," She sighed, "Ted is the luckiest son I could ever have,"  
"Agreed," I laughed, "Agreed."_

"And do you, Andromeda Tonks, take Ted Daniel Tonks to be your future husband, to love and to hold in sickness and health, magical triumphs, muggle triumphs, and downfalls?" The minister asks. My heart beats fast as time stands still and every single eye is cast onto me.

_This is my moment. _

I have no trouble in saying the next few words.  
"I do,"

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

"Ted, no, this never meant to be…" I trail off as I stare in the bundle in front of me that I'm vaguely aware is apparently my daughter.

"This _is _your daughter, Andromeda, you can't change that," Ted reminds me softly. I blink back tears and nod.

"I know, I know," I moan, "But – Ted, it's so dangerous for her. Just a baby. We're in the middle of a war, Ted," Tears flood my eyes. My baby girl – dead. An image fills my head of her lying in her cot, stiff and pale and gone from the world. I can practically feel the blood drain out of my face.

"Hold her, 'Dromeda. She loves you," Ted carefully places my little girl in my arms. To my astonishment, blue and brown ripples through her hair.

"What on earth?" I cry out in astonishment.

"Oh, yes," a Healer grins at me, "I forgot. Your daughter is a Metamorphagus," She grins.

Oh my.

"So-she can change her appearance at will?" I say faintly.  
"Precisely," the Healer winks and strides away.

"That'll help, won't it?" Ted teases. I nod.

"But still. I promise I will do anything to protect my daughter," I say firmly.

"Agreed."

_ Every breath,_

_Every hour has come to this_

"Nymphadora, calm down!" I scowl my golden-haired daughter, who is currently bouncing around.

"Charlie is coming soon!" The five year old chants, "Charlie Charlie Charlie!"

"Yes, he's coming soon," I praise, "But do be quiet," I say. She frowns and her hair turns bubble-gum pink.

"That's them!" She yells suddenly. I hear them too – a knock at a door and the sounds of crying.

"Behave, Nymphadora," I warn my daughter sternly before hurrying to the door. I find Molly Weasley, a friend of mine, standing next to her husband, both looking exhausted.

"Charlie!" Nymphadora squeals as she barrels through the doorway. Bill, the eldest at seven years of age, nudges Charlie, his younger brother. The two boys couldn't be wearing anything more different. Bill wears a small black shirt with a Chudley Cannons logo on it and Charlie's wearing a bright yellow shirt with, '_Dragons-hiss!' _on it. Bill gives me a polite hello before following Charlie and Nymphadora into the lounge room to play no doubt another round of Gobstones or trade Chocolate Frog cards.

Molly's having trouble holding onto Fred and George, her baby twins', pram. Percy, who's two, is also tugging on her hand. Then we hear a scream and she rushes inside.

Here's how to describe it in five words: Nymphadora is _definitely, _completely magical.

It's the moment I've been waiting for.

_One step closer_

"Nymphadora, darling, I love you, remember that," I say breathlessly to my daughter.

"I know, I know, mum," Nymphadora shrugs, "So do I just run at it?"  
"Yep, right at the wall," Ted nods. Nymphadora throws us a grin and runs towards the wall. I can't help but gasp as she disappears.

"Together," I say firmly. Ted nods and grabs my arm and we run through together.

"Dora!" He calls out loudly. My daughter runs up to us, her hair now settled on a bright purple.

"Yeah, dad?" She asks, panting.

"Remember, we love you," He says. I nod and blink back tears.

_My baby's going off to Hogwarts. _

"Lots and lots and lots. Oh, Nymphadora, I love you so much!" I engulf her in a hug and she grins up at me.  
"I love you too, Mum, Dad." She hugs her dad and then tilts her head to the side.

"What?" Ted asks in that calming, soft voice of his that I fell in love with.  
"Oh, nothing – I'll write lots, every day," Nymphadora promises.

"Oh, sweetheart, I love you so much," I sigh, hugging her again.  
"Yep, love you too. Bye!" She waves to us and hurries onto the train, Ted walks away to help her get her trunk in the carriage. My heart pounds.

"Andi?"

I hear a voice I haven't heard for years. I turn around to find my once-sixteen year old sister older. Lines cut roughly into her face and bags are under her eyes. Her once stunning blond hair is now longer but more violently darker. She barely looks the same.  
"Cissy," I cry in a hushed voice, "What are you doing here?"  
"I'm here to see off my nephew, Lucius' brother's son. Please, do meet dear Draco," She pushes a small boy towards me who looks no older than five. He has Narcissa's blond hair and pointed chin.

"Who are you?" He asks rudely. I bite my lip.

"Your Aunt," I say tenderly. He scrunches up his nose.

"You aren't Aunt Bellatrix," He says plainly.

"I'm your other Aunt," I say. Surely Narcissa's told her son about me?  
"I only have one," He says, "Mother, I don't like the girl. Let's go. He tugs on his mother's hand and Narcissa leaves without giving me a second glance.

Just when I thought I was one step closer to my old family.

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

"Nymphadora!" My voice is shrilly over the top of the other voices. My daughter runs towards me; her dark eyes sparkle and her purple hair bounces as she runs.

"Mum! Dad!" She screams. She hugs me and I try not cry. _Back for Christmas_. Finally.

"Oh, Dora, how are you?" Ted asks, "Hufflepuff – We're so proud!" Ted hugs her tightly.

"Yes, Hufflepuff – brilliant!" I beam, "I can't believe it – you got ten points off _already_?" I ask in mock-shock. She rolls her eyes.

"I tripped and fell on a prefect," She says, "Not my fault,"  
"That's right," Ted agrees, "My little girl!"

"Ted!" I scowl, giving him a tender kiss on the cheek.  
"Ewww!" Nymphadora cries out. Ted laughs.

"So, no boyfriends yet?" He teases. Nymphadora makes a face.

"Boys are gross." She says plainly.

"What about Charlie?" I ask, grinning like I'm the eleven year old, not Nymphadora.

"He's still gross. But sometimes he's not." She shrugs.  
"Well, that's nice to know," Ted says, ruffling Nymphadora's hair, "Don't have to kill anyone yet."  
"What?" Nymphadora stares up at us looking severely confused.

"Don't worry, dear, your father's just being stupid," I say, shooting Ted a look. He shrugs.

"Or am I?" He grins.

Oh, if only no one was here.

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

"Honey, really, an _Auror_?" I ask. Nymphadora shrugs.

"Yeah, mum. An Auror," She confirms. My heart gives a little leap.

"But, darling, really, it's quite dangerous – don't you know? The Daily Prophet would give you good pay if you worked for them, maybe a reporter, not right in the action, but close… Yes, that's what you need," I mumble, mostly to myself. She glares at me.

"Mum!" She yells, "I'm going to be an Auror and that's that. Besides, the Daily Prophet _sucks_, like, seriously."

"Nymphadora, really, think about this-" I beg, "It's much too dangerous for a young girl like you to even consider,"  
"_Don't _call me Nymphadora!" She shouts, her hair turning an angry red. She throws a picture of Anita holding her as a baby onto the ground and storms off. I can hear her door slam shut even from here.

Dammit, where did I go wrong.

But I still and always will love her.

_And all along I believed I would find you_

"Ted!" I can't help but yell. With Nymphadora off on a mission and Molly stuck at home with a mild case of splattergroit I've been very lonely. I wrap my arms tightly around my husband who satisfies me by giving me a small kiss on the lips.  
"Dromeda, wow, do you have nothing better to do?" He asks, with the same merry laugh I fell in love with, though it sounds much more worn and croaky now.

"Nup, nada, nothing at all," I promise him, "Look, I've got you some coffee, so don't complain," I hand him a steaming hot mug of the thing and he takes a careful sip.

"Ahh," He gives me the usual sigh of pleasure, "Perfect, Dromeda, as always," I grin and lead him inside.

"So…" I ask, "How was your day?"  
"Boring. Mixed up a few calming droughts," Ted shrugs.

"Not as boring as mine," I sigh, "Seriously. I baked _cookies. _I never bake!"  
"Poor you," Ted says sympathetically, kissing me on the lips. I smile like I haven't since Nymphadora was conceived.

"Ted Tonks, we haven't in ages. We aren't again," I say firmly.

"Why, Dromeda?" He asks, kissing me more. I may be older, but this is still tempting.

"Just tonight," I say, finding my younger, more easily-thrilled self again.  
"Promise,"

_Time has bought your heart to me_

"Nymphadora," I say, "You're getting married? Really?"  
"Yes," She nods happily and shows me the sparkling diamond engagement ring that currently sits on her hand.

"Really?" I ask in shock. She grins and nods. Oh boy. I haven't seen her this happy in ages.

"Yes, Mum, really. I, Nymphadora Tonks, am getting married to Remus Lupin." She nods clearly.  
I am torn. _My daughter has found love_. That's a good thing. _With a werewolf_. That's a bad thing. But disowning her would make me way too much like my mother.

"Brilliant," I say uncertainly, "Absolutely brilliant!"

"I'm so glad you think so, Mum!" Nymphadora says thankfully, wrapping me in a bone-crushing hug, her neck warmer bouncing up and down. It's so weird. It feels like yesterday she was assuring Ted and I that boys were gross and now she's getting married.

What happened to normal time?

_I have loved you for a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more,_

"Pregnant?"  
_Pregnant. I'm going to be a grandmother. My daughter is pregnant._

"Yes, mum – look!" She sticks out her belly. Now that I know, it actually is quite noticeable. I smile broadly.

"Are you ready for this, Nymphadora?" I ask, "We can always-"

"Mum, I'm ready," She cuts in stubbornly, "Alright? Trust me."

"Alright, Nymphadora, if you're su-" I'm cut off by the sound of a knock at the door.

"I'll get that," I say to her quickly, "Not to worry, dear, probably just Molly…" I open the door to see two finely dressed wizards at the door, one of their faces looking strangely familiar.

"Your husband, Ted Tonks, has not registered on the muggle-born registration list." The taller one says flatly.

"He doesn't have to," I snap, "Now shut up and get off my door step!"

"Mrs Tonks, I don't think you understand," the short one snaps, "You don't have a ruddy option!" He pulls out a long silver dagger and holds it to my throat.  
"Mum!" That's Nymphadora for sure. Pregnant. I can't let her get hurt.

"Run!" I scream. I hear her sprint out to the backyard to grab a portkey to the burrow in the backyard. Since the war started we have it their constantly in case we need a quick escape. There's one for each of us. I hear Nymphadora leave with a quick rush of air.

"Where is your husband?" They ask me.

"I don't know," I lie.

"Wrong answer," They repeat in unison.

Then pain cripples me and I want to die.

_And all along, I believed I would find you_

Dead.

It's wrong. Not true. I'm left with a baby. An orphan.

_Will the pain ever stop? _

Ted; my husband, my only love, has been gone for months.

_Join him._

But now Nymphadora and Remus – it's unbearable.

_Go! Now! Go to them, Andromeda!_

I pull out my wand, and begin to murmur the spell through my lips but I stop abruptly when I hear crying.

_Teddy. _

The only thing left living for. I run to him and slowly cradle him in my arms. It's been an awfully long time since I've held a baby.

"Wah ga gool," Teddy chatters to me happily, not realising his parents will never come back, never cuddle him, never buy him his first wand or robes. Never see him graduate, never see him get married. They'd never ever see their child's future.

"I love you, Teddy," I whisper to the child, tears rolling down my cheeks freely.

"Awooble," Teddy replies, kicking his small fists in the air. I smile for the first time in what feels like centuries.

"Mummy and Daddy and Grandpa love you," I coo softly, "Always. Never forget their sacrifices."  
And with this I put him down, cast a heating charm, turn off the light and go to bed.

_Time has bought your heart to me_

"You can get it!" I call reluctantly to my five-year-old grandson.

"Thanks, gran!" Teddy calls back happily, and I hear him race to the door. I slowly heave myself out of my seat and make my way to the door.

There stands Fleur and Bill with their two-and-a-half kids. The reason I say half is because Fleur is pregnant.

Victoire holding Fleur's fingers tightly and her face brightens up when she sees Teddy. Suddenly, I feel like I've been whisked back in time to when Nymphadora and Charlie saw each other, when they were five, and Nymphadora had her first sprout of accidental magic.

"Teddy!" Victoire exclaims, clapping her hands happily.

"Vic!" Teddy yells back, just as excited. Teddy's hair changes to match Victoire's. Bill cradles baby Dominique in his arms.

"Andromeda," He says politely, "If you don't mind, could you hold Dom for a sec?" I nod and Bill hands me the sleeping baby. Fleur pats her stomach and grins.

"Eet was zo nice of you to invite us and ze children," Fleur laughed heartily. I nod and smile at the happy couple, sorely reminded of what Ted and I used to be.

"Oh, not a problem. Come in," I beckon them in and we all hurry into the sitting room. Pictures of Nymphadora as a baby, toddler, child, teenager and young adults sit side-by-side with happy pictures of Teddy and pictures of Ted and I when we were young. It shows a growing family. Not a still-grieving one.

It happened in the past. I will carry it into the future.  
But I must get over it.

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

Teddy's no five year old anymore. He's a proud Hufflepuff, married to Victoire Weasley with three kids; Nymphadora, Remus and William. He would've made his parents proud. Nymphadora's five; she's part veela and already stunning, with the same blond hair I remember Victoire having. Remus is wild, unlike his namesake, even if he's only three. Somehow, recessive genetics, I guess, he's got my brown hair. But he's got Victoire's sweet blue eyes that can make almost anyone melt – I've seen it happen to Lily, who's currently sixteen. I feel so old – Arthur passed away a year ago and Molly's close to it, but I'm even older than them. I'm a great-grandparent, that's what I am.

William's a metamorphagus like Teddy. Teddy's mighty proud, I can tell. Will's hair is normally settled on a bright royal blue.

Somehow I always find my mind wondering back to what Nymphadora and Remus, the original, would think of Teddy and Victoire and William and Nymphadora and Remus. I think they'd be proud. I still miss them and Ted like there's a giant hole in my heart. But, somehow, knowing I'll be with them soon makes me happy.

_I'll love you for a thousand more…_

I'm one-hundred-and-eleven. I'm now a great-great grandmother. Nymphadora II's eldest daughter, Alana, is fifteen. Avery, Alana's half-brother is nine. Even though they're half-siblings and six years apart they somehow happen to get along like a house on fire.

Remus has three kids; Nathan, who's ten, Luciana, who's seven, and Jamie, who's five. William has two and one on the way; Arliah, who's seven, Crystal, who's four, and then his wife's pregnant with a little boy, who I know William will love to death, having a son on his own.

Teddy entertains his grandkids with his metamorphagus skills. Avery got Nymphadora's veela genes, and Alana is pretty peeved she didn't get that, though I secretly think she did. Although she's got her dad's dark hair and healthy dose of freckles, she's quite stunning and already has a boyfriend, a Crabbe boy who her father, grandfather (Teddy) and I don't approve of.

Crystal got the metamorphagus skills like Teddy and can sit with him for hours, laughing and giggling on his lap. I'm really happy that my family's finally found a way through the darkness.

But still, I remember when I first met Ted in that potions class when I was eleven. Now I realise that was exactly a hundred years ago. I've known Ted for a hundred years.

It pains me to watch the little baby boy I once held in my arms with lines and wrinkles of his own, nurturing his grandkids happily. I'm sure Ted would've been exactly the same way if he had lived to meet Teddy.

Molly and Arthur are long gone and Cissy's almost done. We're kind of more close now, after Bella died we starting to try and amend. It's still a fractured relationship, knowing my sister killed my only child.

But, day-by-day we still build. And maybe we've finally built it again. Maybe we're still building. Maybe we haven't even started. I don't know.

All I know that this is the last breath I'll ever take before I am reunited with Nymphadora, Remus, and my only true love, Ted.


End file.
